that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
