She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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