So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
