During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
