do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
