Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
