how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
