R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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