just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
