When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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