do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
