Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
