doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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