haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
