Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
