My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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