so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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