Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
