i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize