Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
