I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
