I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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