he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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