and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I accidentally had phone sex last night
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I supernannyed him into submission
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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