New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
