Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
