at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
