she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
