i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
