perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
