just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
