Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry about my life...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize