i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You really coming over, don't trick.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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