it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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