is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bring me that man meat
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
