You're my little dorito
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize