Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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