Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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