is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
