So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have tasted many bathrooms
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
