We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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