I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Panties = found
Randomize
