She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
