Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
