I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
