Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
