I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize