i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
