I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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