wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
