if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
