$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
