I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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