I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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