You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
