Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
