Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
