My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
