He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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