"it" just moved
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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