Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
